Patience

Lately I seem to be questioning much of what goes on with G. If he cries when we put him down to sleep, after numerous books and the normal routine, I wonder what is wrong. What am I not giving him that he needs.

If he is overly fussy I wonder why is he doing this to me. But deep down I know he is not doing it to me. He is just doing it because tantrums and testing and stretching the limits are all developmentally appropriate right now. It is still hard to take, but talking about it helps. I know that I have to work through this stage with him as a patient, loving, consistent parental figure who gives him room to be and gently guides him toward appropriate behavior, however long it takes. Not easy.

I just finished an amazing book called Momma Zen: Walking the crooked path of Motherhood, by Karen Maezen Miller. It was just what I needed, when I needed it. She talked about the tantrums and suggested looking at yourself for clues as to why they might be happening in the moment that they are happening. See what you might be doing or not doing to contribute. Give yourself a timeout by going into another room (if it is safe to leave the child, of course) and let them know when they are calm, they should come get you. I love that idea.

It already worked once, maybe just at calming me down, but hey, that counts.

This parenting thing is a constant exercise in being open and patient.