Getting away

Even though I was feeling 98.9% miserable the majority of the weekend, only part of the reason being the Flu symptoms, it was one of the best weekends I've had in a long time.

A few weeks ago my sister agreed to watch G for the weekend so B and I could go to a concert.

B took Friday off so we could get packed and miss traffic. Even though I was feeling horrendous, I was determined to make the best of it. Because, how often do we get an opportunity to go, AWAY, for the weekend?

Friday morning B did yard work and watched G while I lay on the couch nursing a headache and horrible all over aches and pains. After lunch we packed the car and headed to my sisters.

We stayed the night and the next morning woke up to a lovely breakfast of pancakes and real maple syrup. Is there any other syrup worth putting on your food? Aunt Jemima makes my stomach turn.

Then we packed again, kissed our boy goodbye and headed to Lenox, MA. At Tanglewood, the amazingly nestled concert venue, that feels like you're at a grand old summer home/estate, we saw Garrison Keillor do The Prairie Home Companion radio show.

I grew up having to listen on Saturday nights, my Dad has always been a fan, and then somewhere in my mid twenties I began to enjoy it myself. I remember listening to it in the sculpture studio on Saturday nights in grad school.

Well, seeing the show in person was profoundly more entertaining, exciting and enjoyable.

I loved every minute of it. And to top the night off, at B's suggestion we waited through the 1 1/2 hour encore to have Garrison sign our copy of his new book, which at first I thought was a bad idea. But then, not only was the show fantastically wonderful........

• Martin Sheen was his special guest.
  
• Steve Martin, who plays the banjo, was the musical guest
  
• With a surprise appearance by Arlo Guthrie

.......we met Garrison Keillor, got our picture taken with him and he chatted me up about sculpture.

It was AWESOME. And just the kind of weekend that B and I needed to kick start summer and get us out of this routine rut that we've been in for the past few months.

Nothing like getting away from it all to give you a new perspective on all that you've got.

Hypochondriac

I went to the doctor's this morning for a routine appointment.

While I was checking in, the receptionist said, "They're making us ask this, Do you currently have any symptoms of the Swine Flu?"

She paused, I stared at her and she finished with, "Such as chills, fever or a cough?"

I thought about it for a minute and said, "No."

She seemed to feel bad about having to ask, finished my paperwork and told me to have a seat in the waiting room. I sat there with three other adults and two children thinking about how many germs might be currently circulating in the air we were all breathing.

Now I am home with aches and pains and a headache.

Conflict Negotiator

This weekend we drove to my parents house to celebrate Father's Day. On the way there, B and I got into an argument and as usual I was the one who got emotional and raised my voice.

Two sentences into my point, G said "Mama, COME down! COME down!"

I stopped trying to make my point and turned to look at him in the back. Not sure what he was saying I asked, "What do you mean, come down?"

When he repeated it a third time I understood.

"Okay, G. You're right. I will calm down. I'm sorry."

And then he followed up with, "Just be patient, Mama."

I think we might have a Conflict Negotiator or Zen Master in our midst.

Wishing.......

......we had a personal chef. I LOVE to eat, but would rather be doing almost anything other than cooking. Like cleaning the toilet, even.

......it would STOP raining. Seriously. Green grass is nice, but this is a bit much.

......I had a great book to read. Just finished one that I loved, The Bright Side of Disaster, and now I'm jonesing for another page turner. Any suggestions?

Discipline

Throughout my pregnancy and the early stages of motherhood I read a lot. I read books on fetal development, caring for an infant and the timing of milestones from 0 to 12 months. For a year or so now, I have not touched a parenting book, instead I just go with my gut OR talk to a friend.

Lately, I have been thinking it's time to find some good books. Books on discipline. I need a little insight into this age of two and stage of testing........

G is a good kid, but he has started to push limits and really test me in ways that make me want to run down the street screaming. And I think a few more tools in the ole tool box would help, even if it's all in my head. At least trying new things will help me feel productive and more sane.

I have tried, with some success, using time-outs, but you can't always give a time-out. Like when you're trying to get some necessary shopping done and your son will not stay seated in the carriage or stop yelling. I know he was probably bored, hungry, or tired, but I just a had a little more shopping to do and I needed him to chill out.

I'd love to have a few more techniques for handling that type of situation and many others that I'm sure I haven't even encountered yet.

Any suggestions for a good book or two that helped you navigate these tricking waters of disciplining your child with diginity and grace?

Too Bumpy

If we get to G's daycare early or on time, we can usually find a parking spot just outside the building, on the street. However, if we are running late, we have to drive around the building to enter the one way parking lot and go over three speed bumps, before we can park.

G has developed a distaste for the bumps.

"No bumps, Mama. No bumps." he always says when we are still a few streets away.

"We'll have to wait and see, G," I caution, trying to prepare him for the fact that we may have to go over a few bumps if we can't get a spot outside.

Yesterday, as he made his request for NO BUMPS, I decided to ask, "Why don't you want to go over the bumps?"

After a pause, he stated, "Because they are bumpy. Too bumpy, Mama."

I wanted to tell him that these speed bumps are a metaphor and that there will inevitably be many bumps in his journey. It's the rough parts that make you appreciate the smooth ones. We have to go over the bumps to be able to get to the good parts. I wanted to tell him not to avoid them or fear them or wish they weren't there, because they are part of the whole experience and what makes life full. I wanted to tell him to be brave, accept the bumps and we will always be here to help him get over them.

But instead, I said, "You're right, G. They are bumpy," and pulled into the last spot outside the parking lot, on the street.

Kiss?

Watching my son, who rarely gives affection,
ask for a "Kiss? Kiss?" from another woman,
a friend who he just recently met,
made my heart melt
and twinge a little.

Yeah. So, I might have a jealous streak.

Connections

I have searched the internet, with no luck, for the 2 minute American Greetings commercial they play at the end of Sesame Street. It shows a bunch of flat, animated strips of construction paper making a chain, similar to the one below.

While the chain is being completed someone says:

"Connections make life meaningful."

The commercial just about brought me to tears. It really got to me.

As a mother, it's amazing to see G make new connections and leaps in understanding.

As a friend, daughter, sister, cousin, in-law.........I feel so blessed to be connected to such a supportive, loving, funny, opinionated and talented group of people. Family is everything to me.

As an artist, I am constantly noticing how the work I do helps me make meaning of my experiences.

As a blogger, I feel connected to this wonderful group of people who I give and get daily feedback from. Making connections, sharing real truth, learning, growing, feeling a part of something has enriched my life and made it a little fuller.

Thanks for being a part of it.

P.S. If you find the commercial, let me know, it's something I'd like to show my students.

Launched

Last night was the Senior Prom.

B had to chaperone so he "got out of" the dreaded bedtime routine. Bedtime has become a battle of the wills to say the least. If interested check out the CONs side of this list.

Last nights routine started very much the same way as previous nights but a bit more intense and then ended in a totally new and unwelcomed way.

We stepped in the door after having dinner at our friends house, and G went from sleepy, thumb-sucking boy to crazy toddler on sugar. (although he didn't have any sugar) Suddenly he was eager to "have a snack?" "play screwdrivers?" "take a tubby?" He wanted anything BUT to go to his room and read books.

It was time for bed, I had put him in his pjs at our friends house and damn it, he should have been ready to read books in his room. We went to the bathroom to brush his teeth. He allowed me one swipe with the brush before clamping down, turning his body away and demanding a tubby. I was trying to be patient, I tried explaining why he had to go to bed, then I tried counting, 1.....2..............2 1/2.........3.

So I put him in his crib without a bedtime story. I told him to get it all out and calm down and then I would be back to read books. I left the room and closed the door as he cried. Two minutes later, twisting the cap closed on my contact lens case I heard a loud crash.

I walked in to find him doing the downward dog on the hardwood floor just beneath his crib, pushing himself up to a standing position. My heart was pounding as I said, "What happened G?"

"I jumped." he calmly stated.

Jumped or launched yourself I thought, as my mind ran: How the heck did he manage that? On what part of his body did he land? How do I check for concusion in a toddler?

I started asking questions to which he should know the answer. He was stunned and didn't answer at first, just stared at the wall as I checked his body for damage.

Then he broke the silence and asked me to read him a book.

I read four.

I guess we won't be giving timeouts in the crib anymore. Does this mean it's time for a toddler bed? Anyone have any experience with this type of behavior?

Mourning

My local library has shut down Story Hour for the summer.

Are you kidding me? When more, than right now, do we need something organized, educational, social and free to do outside of the house, in air conditioning? I mean really. I was starting to build relationships with people.

When I asked Ms. Pam why they would do this, she said, "It would get boring if we did it throughout the whole year. It's nice to look forward to it in the Fall." Boring? Maybe for her, but certainly not for me or G for that matter.

I have chronicled our love affair with the Story Hour here and here. We got off to a rocky start, me and "The Hour," which is actually more like 20 minutes for G's age group. Anyways, it was rough at first but then I grew to love it, really love and look forward to it every week. G really started to blossom there. He knew all the words to the songs and would sit patiently watching Ms. Pam's every move. He was so good and I loved the interaction with other Mom's and the play group time afterward.

What the heck are we going to fill our Thursday mornings with now?

Pros vs. Cons

I've never been a big fan of Pros and Cons lists. They just seem to make the decision more complicated. B says he always ends up evening both sides out. I think for me it's a matter of being more emotional than I am logical or practical. I'm more comfortable just listening to my gut. I know that there are some decisions in which these lists are important and useful. In those situations, someone else usually helps facilitate the making of them.

Anyways. Today I've decided to make a Pros and Cons list for another reason. G turned TWO on Friday and I want to mark the occasion with a list detailing the Pros and Cons of living with a two year old named "G." In case he wonders and because I know I won't remember the specifics.

So, dear G, this is what you are like right now, at two.

PROS

• You are a very sensitive, compassionate man, most of the time. Whenever I take a deep sigh you ask, "You okay Mama?"
• You have started giving frequent and sudden leg hugs.
• There is a hook in the kitchen, located about three feet off the ground that the previous owners installed, which we have not removed. You discovered it a few months ago, and it's always amusing to see what new random thing you have decided to hang there. i.e. handled sippy cups, your Red Sox hat, anything with a loop on it.......
• You are so enamored with your new train table that I often have 5 to 10 uninterrupted minutes to do things such as change the laundry, start dinner, wash the dishes.....
• You have learned how to spell your first name AND the first name of your best friend. Spelling bees might start helping to pay for college.
• Your sense of humor has really begun to blossom and you think that I am really funny. A few weeks ago we were on a walk when it started to sprinkle. You looked up at me, startled by the rain drops. So I put my hand on my head and said, "Ouch!" as if the rain had hurt me. You looked puzzled for a second and then started laughing hysterically and repeated what I did. We went back and forth for about 5 minutes, laughing the whole time.

CONS

• For the past two weeks you have fought us something fierce on going to bed. Each night it seems to go like this: 45-minutes taking turns reading books to you, then we try letting you cry it out. But, apparently you would rather turn yourself into a sweaty, snotty, hoarse mess than settle down to sleep, without ONE MORE book.
• Trying to rationalize why hitting things with the wiffle ball bat is not a good idea, and having to threaten a time out is already getting old.
• Your new train table and other toys take up an entire room. The only place for them in our little 1850's barn turned colonial style house is the front room. The first one you walk into as you enter our home. Oh, well, I guess aesthetics will have to wait 10 or 15 years.
• I can't think of anything else right now.

I guess the PROS outweigh the CONS in this scenario.

Happy Birthday, little man!

Gut reaction

Driving G to daycare yesterday, on a residential side street of an upscale neighborhood, I noticed a woman trying to cross the road. It was a beautiful day and I was in a good mood, so I decided to stop and wave her on. You can cross, I mouthed, as she seemed to hesitate.

Then I realized, she wasn't hesitating to cross the street, she was waving her ipod at me to get my attention. I pulled over and rolled down the windowThinking she needed directions, although she was clearly on a run/walk, so she was from the area. When the window was down she asked if she could borrow my phone.

Now, I hesitated, wondering to myself if I had even brought it and if so, where the heck did I put it. I don't bring my purse when I drop G off because it is so close to the house and I workout right after. While I was fumbling with my thoughts, she added that she wasn't feeling well and wanted to call her husband to pick her up.

"Can I give you a ride somewhere?" was the first thing out of my mouth. Usually I am very leary of strangers, especially when my son is with me, but it was a gut reaction and she looked harmless. I know, I know, it's always the ones that LOOK harmless. Anyways, she seemed unsure, but then said, "Yes. If that's okay. I live a few blocks away."

Before she got in the car she asked, "Are you sure you're comfortable with this?"

And that was the first time I realized this might not be a good idea.

I don't think I answered her before she was in the car and we were headed away from G's daycare and toward the woman's house.

"I just feel really dizzy. Have you ever had vertigo?" she asked.

"No." I said, wondering if she was making the whole thing up.

I dropped her off and watched her walk in. I hope she's okay. Guess I'll never really know.

Looking back, I am glad we helped her out.

It reminds me of the time we found a half dead robin on the side of the road, just up the street from our house. My mom ran back to get gloves and a box and we brought the bird back home. For three days we nursed him back to health. Then, when he seemed strong enough, we set him outside and watched him fly away. I always wondered if he made it.